Well, I started this post at 6 weeks & counting, added a few things at 4 weeks & counting and now with 2 weeks to go, I suppose it is now or never for a post about what to do to get the big sisters ready for the new baby! I made a list of things to consider when we were preparing for Violet to enter our family, but ended up keeping it VERY simple since the big sisters were only 2.5 & 1 at the time (and the other factor being that I had VERY little energy for any of the extra stuff!). This time, however, we have some pretty big Big Sisters so they are much more aware of what’s going on and excited for the new addition. Here’s a run down of what we’ve done to involve the girls in the process. It has really been fun to see their enthusiasm grow and witness their innate love for their baby brother.

1. “Big Sister” books.

I’m kind of picky when it comes to big brother/sister books. Most of them seem really negative suggesting that when the new baby comes he will probably cry all the time and take all of mommy’s attention. They also tend to focus on what the baby can’t do – I guess the thinking is that it makes the big sibling feel better about being big, but it seems to give the impression that the new baby is not very interesting at all. So I looked for books that took a different approach – that adding a baby to the family is a wonderful, exciting adventure that we can all do together, especially those that focus on what a big sister can do with the new baby and a realistic impression of what life with a new baby would look like (which might include some of the negatives, but also emphasizes the positives). With that in mind, I chose the following books for the girls:

On the practical side – including education about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding & newborn care:

Baby on the Way (Dr. Sears)

What Baby Needs (Dr. Sears)

The New Baby (Mercer Mayer)

Rosie’s Babies (Martin Waddell)

On the spiritual side – including an understanding that children are a gift from God, as well as the concept that they are very much alive & precious while they are hidden from us in mommy’s tummy.

Angel in the Waters (Regina Doman)

A Miracle Worth the Wait (Amber Jones) (this was a recent gift & is a very sweet book written by a friend of a friend – thanks Sara!)

2. For the first time, the girls took a Big Sister class at the hospital. I was really excited for them to go and they each got a new baby doll to take to the class. It started with a tour of the hospital (at least the OB floor) and ended in a classroom where they watched an Arthur video on becoming a big brother and then learned to swaddle & hold a baby doll. It was an okay experience, but I’m not sure they got much out of it. The tour was the best part because they got an idea of where Mama & baby will be. The video followed the negative stereotypes of a new baby that I mentioned in the book section, so I wasn’t too fond of it. And when it came time to learn to swaddle & hold the baby dolls, the teacher stole my thunder by passing out CPR training infants to replace the girls’ new baby dolls (for the record, they were supposed to bring a doll to the class). I would recommend a child be at least 3 or 4 to really get much out of a big sibling class, but it was only $15 (for all 3), and our girls seemed to enjoy the field trip.

3. Last weekend, we had a trial run for what the girls will do while we’re at the hospital. Our very good friends will be keeping them for at least one night – maybe two. They have two little girls of their own and all 5 girls really enjoy being together. Plus my friend is a really fun mom who always thinks of crafts & fun ways to pass the time. On Saturday night, they made ice cream in the living room with one of those balls that you roll around while they watched Veggietales’ SweetPea Beauty. When they brought the girls to church Sunday morning, Violet didn’t even want to come to me – she wanted to stay with my friend! Needless to say, they are very much looking forward to a repeat of the sleepover at the “house of fun!”

4. Some smaller things that we have been doing include keeping a calendar on the wall of the big girls’ room where we can x out the days until baby arrives (or at least until the due date – they will really have a hard time if he is 2 weeks overdue like Violet was!). We started the calendar at the first of the year because the girls were very disappointed that the baby was not born “after Christmas.” You see, when we found out we were pregnant last summer, I told them that the baby would come “after Christmas” because it was a date with which they had some familiarity and it was a long time in the future. Well, when Christmas came and went and the baby still did not come, there were some pretty frustrated little girls. The calendar helped us get through the last 3 months. We have also been looking at the pictures from the hospital when they were each newborns and talking about how big they were, etc. Finally, they have really enjoyed sharing in the set up for baby brother like getting out his newborn clothes and making a space for him in Violet’s room. Hopefully, all of that work will be completed this week!

5. There were a few other things that I thought were good ideas, but I’m not sure we’ll implement them this time around. I’ve heard of the big sisters baking a birthday cake for the new baby which I thought was a fun idea, but it places the burden on the caregiver and I’m not sure when a good time would be to present the cake to the baby – at the hospital? when you get home? Another idea was for the girls to give a gift to their baby brother and to receive a gift “from” their baby brother. We did a modified version of the gift to their baby brother in that I let them each pick out a onesie at the Carters outlet for him. They were mildly interested in it, but picked this one, this one & this one – all super cute. We also got him a Little Brother shirt and 3 matching Big Sister shirts. As far as gifts “from” their baby brother, we didn’t characterize them as such, but the girls did each receive a new doll (this one for Olivia – which she named Grace, this one for Molly - which she named Tianna, and this one for Violet - which she named Sara). We took them to the toy store and let them each pick out their own doll. Happily, the toy store had better prices than Amazon! Olivia has had some second thoughts about choosing a big girl doll instead of a baby doll, but thankfully, Violet has shared her doll pretty well and enjoyed having access to the old favorites we already had. I also bought them a doll Ergo carrier which they will probably get in their Easter basket. I’m super excited about that one!

Obviously, this “preparing the big sisters for the new baby” project is something I have been really excited about and something that I hope will build a good foundation for a loving relationship between the baby brother and his big sisters. I’m not sure I would change a whole lot if there was a big brother in the group – it seems like a big brother would enjoy many of the same activities and books and would even enjoy having a doll or ‘buddy’ of his own. After all, a little boy will likely grow into a dad someday and there is nothing wrong with pretending to be a good daddy!

As far as my preparations go for the new baby, I spent the first 8.5 months thinking there wasn’t much preparation really needed for a newborn (after all, I’ve done this 3 times already). But the last couple weeks, I’ve been feeling a little stressed that I hadn’t done much preparation! Thankfully, we still have a few weeks to do the small things that are helpful like packing the hospital bag (especially helpful for natural, unmedicated births as we have done where the comfort items are so appreciated), washing & hanging the newborn clothes, gathering the disposable stuff like diapers, pacifiers, etc. and getting out the newborn equipment like the Moses basket, carseat, swing, bouncer, slings, diaper bag, etc. I think by the end of this week, we should be all set and I will actually be more prepared for this arrival than any of the others (I was pretty darn prepared for Olivia, but this time I have the experience to add to the material preparations)! Now if we could just decide on a name!!

“Who wants to be first?” I asked, calling the girls to get ready for lunch.
“Me!” “Me!” Molly & Violet shouted.
Seeing that Violet was disappointed that Molly had gotten to the table first, I said, “it’s okay Violet, you can be second.” She smiled & was pleased, until Molly pointed out an interesting fact.
“There are only 2 girls at home now, Violet, so if you are second, you are last!”
And then came the tears . . .

Well so much for more frequent updates, huh? Life with little ones has a way of consuming every last minute of each day, but I have been thinking lately that I want to bump up blogging on the priority list because I don’t want to forget all the funny & charming moments of my life with the girls (and boy!). Plus, I know I’ll wonder, what did I do with all that time! So Small Successes seemed like an easy way to get back into it. I’ll keep it brief, but here’s what we’ve been up to:

1. Violet is potty trained! Praise the Lord!! After 5 years of at least one child in diapers, I am enjoying my 3 months off.

2. We did a done of “business” in the last couple months – refinanced the house on a 15-year mortgage (we got 4.25%!); replaced the air conditioning unit, added insulation to the attic & sealed the house to get the Austin energy seal of approval (and got the federal tax rebate!); created wills; set up 2011 automatic charitable giving. Now for the taxes . . . we have a big incentive not to wait ’til the last minute this year!

3. Registered Olivia for kindergarten at our local Catholic elementary starting in the fall and signed Molly & Violet up for the two mornings a week preschool program at our parish. I’m excited to have just the baby for two mornings a week – it will be like having a first baby again – only I know (more) what I’m doing now!

And here are a couple bonus ones that I am especially proud of:

4. JR & I have gone on a monthly date each of the last 5 months, thanks to the generosity of our friends. It has been such a gift to spend a little one-on-one time together each month, especially after years of hardly getting out once a year!

5. I completed a 10-week swim class last fall. It was at a heated outdoor pool (admittedly, temps are not all that low in December in Austin, but still hovered near freezing toward the end) and I LOVED it! I had perfect attendance (only partially motivated by the reward of a tuition refund for perfect attendance! Unfortunately, there were two of us with perfect attendance, a drawing was held and I received “honorable mention” – good thing it was pretty economical to begin with!). Thanks, Adria & JR, for talking me into it!

Updates on each of the girls coming next and high hopes of updating that photo album, too . . . bear with us . . .

Violet is hiding in the closet. I find her and ask what she’s doing.

“I hiding from the naughty witch,” she says.

Hello again, internet world! It’s been a long time since there were regular updates here on this blog, but here’s hoping this is the first of many more frequent postings on the big & small details of life. There is a lot to catch up on, but we’ll start with the biggest news first. I think there are very few people who read this blog that are not family or close friends (in other words, people that know what’s going on around here without needing to read a blog), but just in case we have one or two readers who are out of the loop, I am 22 weeks along with Baby #4!! I’ve been meaning to write about it here for a long time and then before I knew it we were almost half way and could add the gender to the announcement. The girls all wanted a girl. Livy had several beautiful names picked out for a girl – Hannah & Helen being at the top of the list. The girls were so sure it was a girl, I started coaching them to say, “If it’s a boy, that will be okay.” Because, you know, there was actually a chance they would not get another baby sister. They could all say it, but there was not much enthusiasm behind it!

So, this past Friday, we went to see our OB for the mid-way ultrasound. Everything looked great – a healthy baby, measuring a little bigger than average (about a week ahead). And what else did we see? Well, it looks like God is going to shake up our world a bit, because this little guy (yes, you read that right!) is a BOY!! The news is sinking in, and the potential names are swirling around, and the excitement is growing. Molly was the most surprised to hear it is a boy. Everyone kept asking her what she wanted so she was a little taken aback that she did not get what she ordered. When we told her that the baby is a boy, she calmly replied, “No, it’s a girl.” We repeated ourselves a few more times and then she decided to mull it over for awhile. She came back and said, “Well, are there two babies in there and one is a girl?” No, I told her, just the one boy. “But I want a whole bunch of sisters,” she cried! Poor, Molly. Some would say you already have a bunch of sisters. Her last hopeful comment was, “Well, God could give us another baby, right? And that baby could be a girl?” Perhaps, my love. Perhaps.

And so here we go – just 18 weeks to come up with a boy name and a few blue things. You’d think after all these girls, we’d have a boy name at the ready, but we usually don’t talk about names until the mid-way ultrasound, so there hasn’t been much discussion of little boys’ names. And several family & friends have used some good ones in recent years so feel free to leave us a comment with your favorite boy names! But don’t be disappointed when we don’t tell you if we’re going to use your suggestions or not. We like to keep the names a secret until birth. For now, I guess we’ll call him J.R., Jr.

Forgot to add this description of the little guy:

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he’s even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you’d be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he’ll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

We have not written here in quite some time and there are so many stories that would’ve been fun to share and perhaps someday we will, but I guess the photos will have to tell the story for us for now (hopefully, we’ll get the last few months photos up by the end of this month!). I decided to sit down & write this afternoon, though, because the girls & I had the most wonderful ordinary morning. It was the kind of morning I dreamed about when I longed to stay home with a houseful of children – being together for the ordinary parts of life, finding enjoyment in the simple things. I want to be able to look back and remember how these mornings went so I’ll tell the story here. Hope you enjoy reading about it as much as we did living it!

The morning was off to a great start with all 3 girls sleeping in until 7:30am. As if that weren’t happy enough, they all woke up in a cheery disposition. We enjoyed homemade banana bread with applesauce & milk for breakfast and then headed off to the pediatrician’s office for well checks for the “little girls.” As always, Dr. G was attentive, kind & silly with the girls. They both checked out great and are average for height & weight with just 3 inches, 2 lbs & 12 months between them! They are becoming really good playmates and for now their closeness is very evident at playtime. Olivia enjoys her big girl activities (coloring, writing letters, making cards & jewelry) and they are happiest playing house. After a lot bit of fussing over vaccines, we headed out the door with stickers in hand. Our next stop was the library where we picked up a couple books that I had reserved on braiding hair & taking care of curls. The girls each picked out a book off the shelf to take home as well. Most children their age are probably quite accustomed to taking books home from the library, but this is only our 2nd time going into the building (we had been doing reservations on-line followed by the drive-thru). Their excitement at choosing any book on the shelf was really heart warming. The last stop before lunch was the grocery store. We had a fairly short list and some time to kill before lunch so we took our time wandering the aisles and ended up finding some fun deals on the clearance rack – pinwheels for a quarter, cowgirls hats for a dollar, and balloons for free from the cashier. On the drive home (which is about 6 blocks), we put the windows down and giggled with glee at how the pinwheels spun and the balloons tried to find a way to freedom.

When we got home, I sent the girls out to the backyard to play while I unpacked the groceries & made lunch. They found a large pot full of potting soil (but no plants) and the shovels left out from our beach vacation. Next time I checked on them they were all 3 covered in dirt and chatting away about their “plant work.” We washed hands in the hose and then sat down at the picnic table under the playscape for lunch. The girls had milk, corn dogs & veggies with ranch dip. I always feel like a good mom when I see lots of veggies on their plate and especially so when the veggies are gone when it’s time to clear the table! How I loved hearing, “Mama, Violet stole my broccoli! Please can I have more broccoli?” After lunch, we came in to get some clean clothes, fresh cantaloupe for dessert and read our library books before naps.

It was an ordinary day in every way, but it was special because we were together and we were happy and that is what I dreamed about all those years ago . . .

As I’m getting the girls out of the bathtub tonight, I scold Molly for trying to stand on the side and jump off (all while holding my hand).

“That’s dangerous,” I say, “You could fall and crack your head open and we’d have to go to the hospital.”

“Would it be really bad?” asks Livy.

“Yes, really bad,” I say.

“So bad people would bring you presents?” Livy asks.

Last week was one of “those weeks.” All major crises were averted, but nothing went particularly well either. Well that’s not exactly true, but enough plans were thwarted that it felt like a wash. Perhaps it was the fact that Olivia was in VBS all week and I got the idea that meant I’d be more productive because I’d be minus one child. Except that I was minus my helpful, mild-mannered child. And she had to be somewhere at 9 and picked up at noon. And because we were out to drop off & pick up Olivia, it seemed like a good excuse to finish off my list of errands to run before we head out of town again. And then there were the unusually large numbers of tantrums from the little sisters left in my care. It seems Violet is getting extra teeth and Molly isn’t getting enough sleep – what a fantastic combination! So every outing last week involved tears and every day provided a good dose of humility for Mama – from dropping my fancy new Android phone on the concrete, to diaper “issues”, to time management failures, to struggling to carry on a simple conversation, to my To Do list being the same length Friday at 4pm as it was Monday at 8am. After all of that, what really sounded good was meeting some other moms at Chuy’s for frozen margaritas & the all-you-can-eat nacho car. Happily, we had a great alternative to take advantage of – we met a new friend for a late afternoon playdate. She greeted us warmly, the girls immediately ran off to enjoy the company of their new friends and a house full of new toys. My new friend & I fell into easy, light-hearted conversation. By the time the visit ended, I was ready to let the week go and focus on making the best of the weekend. So here it is Sunday night and I am ready to give it all another try tomorrow morning. We’ve got a lot less on our calendar, we have no errands to run (one benefit of the craziness of last week!), and I am planning to spend a good chunk of time just reading books to the girls in the new reading corner JR finished up tonight. There will always be ups & downs in life with young children and it isn’t realistic for me to think we can make it through a week without a few mini-crises. But hopefully, I can learn to follow my girls’ lead and live in the moment, enjoy the simple things, and hold onto the good times.

Here at the Andrews’ house, we like to think we’ve got the best Daddy ever. I thought it would be fun to ask the girls a little about why they love their dad. Here goes:

1. What is something your Daddy does better than most dads?

O (4.5 yrs): Let’s me do special stuff like gives me treats when Molly gets a treat for doing nice things.

M (2.75 yrs): Climbing walls (I think maybe that is what she said first) and going to bed.

V (1.75 yrs): Wawa.

2. What is one of your happiest memories with Daddy?

O: Eat candy, make fruit smoothies & snuggle with him.

M: Climbing up the wall.

V: Daddy!

3. What is your favorite thing about Daddy?

O: Picking flowers (no idea where that’s coming from!)

M: Flying.

V: Daddy!

4. When you grow up, do you want to be like your Daddy?

O: No, I want to be a princess!

M: Yes, because.

V: No.

5. Is there anything else you’d like to say about (or to) Daddy?

O: I love you, Daddy! Happy Father’s Day!

M: I love Ariel the Mermaid. Happy Father’s Day, Mommy! (and then after correction) Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!

V: No. (and then after being asked if she can say I love you, Daddy) I won’t say that.